We’ve likely all experienced a moment where something in our life went wrong, and we almost instantly felt we were to blame. Maybe you got a 6 on a submission and thought to yourself “I should’ve worked harder”. Or a friendship fizzled out, and you’re left wondering how it got to this. These situations and their consequent responses are hardly unique, but what if we were to discover that sometimes, it’s not about you?
For example, a 2021 study found that one in four students experience depression. Twenty-five percent! Such a large percentage could suggest that this is not a sign of mass personal failure but a sign of something larger. In fact, the things we often view as personal shortcomings are usually just a fragment of a larger social or societal issue. Sociologist C. Wright Mills illustrated this idea in his exploration of personal troubles vs. public issues. He argued that many of the struggles we face as individuals are actually connected to systemic problems and are not mere personal failings. When we see this bigger picture, the burden of blame begins to shrink, allowing us to focus on addressing these issues more collectively.
Seemingly logically, we are taught to see our lives largely as a direct reflection of the choices we make. If we work hard, we’ll succeed. If we make good choices, then we’ll avoid problems. And if things didn’t go according to plan, then we probably didn’t try hard enough. This point of view is ingrained deeply into so many of us. And yes, while of course holding ourselves accountable is crucial, it can sometimes cause us to lose sight of the bigger picture.

It really is inescapable, even with things that seem so obviously bigger than the individual. For example, the ever concerningly high unemployment rates worldwide aren’t a matter of individual work ethic. It’s about policies and business models that prioritize profit over people and inadequate education for (incoming) workers who need to keep up with the changing market. When we see people telling unemployed individuals that if they really wanted a job, they’d have one, we’re… missing the point. This is nothing short of a dramatic simplification of this complex issue. It fails to see the technical shifts, like widespread automation, have replaced countless jobs and that entire industries have vanished, leaving people with specific skills that lost their demand almost overnight.
This also stands true for relationships. Traditional gender roles – seen across many cultures – which often denote men as providers and women as caregivers, create immense pressure. Mix in the expectation for people to be wed by a specific age, and you create a recipe for immense tension.When things fall apart, the conversation often focuses on their incompatibility or personal shortcomings: “You weren’t right for each other.” But rarely do we talk about how all sorts of social pressures from gender roles to financial constraints and even romanticised expectations shaped by social media are able to stress even solid and healthy partnerships.
Another glaring example is mental health issues. Although these seem to be the most personal of struggles, they are shaped by societal forces. When people struggle with issues like depression or anxiety, it’s not rare to get advice like “just think positively,” or “toughen up.” But how often do we make space, as a collective, to reflect on the impact of systemic factors like financial inequality or social isolation? Economic insecurity compounds ontop of smaller problems, as does the widespread inaccessibility of affordable mental health care. These are not personal failures—they are public issues manifesting in very personal ways.
All of this matters because when we fail to see the societal roots of our struggles, the weight of blame falls solely on our shoulders. This can be isolating, making us feel like we’re the problem. However, if we adopt the sociological imagination, we can change that narrative. We can see our struggles not as isolated incidents but as part of a larger system that needs change. This perspective calls for balance, not ridding us of personal responsibility. It means both taking responsibility for our actions’ consequences AND recognizing when the cards are stacked against us.
So how should we proceed?
We need to start making space to discuss these issues in a way that acknowledges the role of societal structures so that we can begin to push for change. For instance, what if we looked at relationship struggles through the lens of societal pressure and any possible constraining expectations within our current social circles? Or consider the dialogue around mental health. Addressing mental health issues requires systemic changes: affordable care, stronger social networks, and the continued pursuit of discrimination-free spaces. This allows us not only to address those in need now, but also gives us a chance to minimise future risk. As individuals, we have the capacity to start change. Even if it’s as simple as having honest conversations with friends and family about these topics. Other social actions, such as volunteering, might feel small in the moment, but together, these actions spark change.
Realising the link between personal troubles and public issues can be both empowering and humbling. It helps us remain grounded and know that we are not alone in our struggles. Our personal struggles reflect the world we live in, but they also hold the potential to inspire change. There’s a related quote that goes: “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” When we stop ruthlessly blaming ourselves and instead focus on the bigger picture, we unlock the power to make that change.
So, the next time you’re hard on yourself when something goes wrong, stop for a moment. Use your sociological imagination to ask yourself, “Is this really just about me, or is there something bigger at play?” You might be surprised by what you find. And perhaps, that realization will be the first step toward something better, not just for you, but for us all.
Featured image provided by Pinterest, user @Fm117208sp2016 cod.