As Madrid’s sun begins to warm us like a gentle hug and its brightness begins to cure our seasonal depression, we awaken from our hibernation intrigued by our surroundings. There are fragrant flowers and new signs of life foreshadowing the opportunity of a self-renaissance. We also notice that next to all the beauty, there are plants that did not survive the harsh winter. Their dried roots and stems take up space and disrupt the aesthetic and growth of the other plants. However, do not condemn the dead plants because they are yet to serve a purpose. When properly decomposed, they become the fertilizers that strengthen the newly bloomed plants.
In the same manner, spring cleaning creates the opportunity to remove from your life all of the unnecessary things the year has left. The things, people, circumstances that are taking unnecessary space in your head and that are holding you back. You might not realize that something is limiting you from achieving your most optimal self. It is time to reflect because that moment of realization that your surroundings are toxic becomes liberation. There is something about spring that allows flowers to bloom, and entire ecosystems to be re-born. Who’s to say that we aren’t affected as well? Be the catalyst to your own spring cleaning renaissance, whether physical, mental, or emotional.
Identify Toxic Energies
Toxic energies can emerge from anyone at any moment. These are negative feelings that are being wished upon you intentionally or unintentionally. They can also be self-inflicted, causing ourselves to be dissatisfied with our being. It is especially hard to imagine that those who you consider your closest and dearest friends may turn out to be the ones negatively impacting your life. The most difficult part is realizing for the first time that something is off within one of your relationships. It is likely that you will ignore it or maybe not even recognize how drastically the behavior might be impacting your well being.
In my experience, I always somehow had a gut feeling that was telling me that something was not right. In many cultures this uneasy feeling is referred to as the Evil Eye. I am not a superstitious person so regarding whether this feeling is a supernatural entity or an instinctual mode of survival is not something I could answer.
However, I do know that if I listened to that feeling sooner I could have saved myself from a lot of pain. Listen to that gut feeling because it’s your sixth sense and will be your armor. In your life, you may have also ignored your gut feeling, and find yourself very lost. There are countless possibilities of hurtful behavior: people you thought you could trust, that lie to take advantage of you, those who don’t put the same level of effort into the relationship, that talk behind your back, that just watch as others hurt you, or that don’t fight for you.
Let’s say I’m a bit of a pessimist but the world has only reconfirmed my ideas. It’s important to remember that a situation can always become worse. You thought you were at your lowest, people can always find a way to make you go lower. It is likely that in denial you may try to fix the relationship, then when you realize you cannot salvage the relationship, intense sensations of anger and frustration will lead to heartbreak. These ephemeral relationships should not become a situation of blame or regrets but one of growth.
You grow out of certain people, or people around you are not growing. They are stuck in the past and latching onto you out of fear of being left behind causing pain, jealousy, hatred. We’ve all been there and it’s part of the university experience. Although it feels like your world might be falling apart it is only a transitional phase of life.
Deep Clean
There are no steps or rules that will guarantee that things will work out in your favor or that will speed up the healing process. However, there are things you can do to take care of your emotional well-being while life decides to test and teach you. Make sure that if you end up emotionally drained that you take time to dust yourself off and get cleaned up. Check on yourself, not only emotional constraints but things that are physically harming you.
I’ve come to the realization that deep cleaning my closet and room help me recall my memories while letting them go. It allows me to get rid of things that no longer hold value so that new and exciting things can come into my life. There’s no need to hold onto the clothes that no longer fit you physically or aesthetically because you are not that kid anymore. To enter a new phase of life you need to let go of the past and throw away, in this case donate, your clothes. This way you allow someone else to create new memories in your old outfits…
Cleaning is symbolic or a way of manifesting the change I want. It creates a sense of relief, certainty, and practice that facilitates confronting the real challenges. It might be time to say goodbye to a best friend. You might be able to reconnect with them in the future, but in the current situation and mindset you cannot heal because you are consumed by the relationship.
Removing these relationships can be complex as they might be interconnected, so the best thing you can do is distance yourself. In such circumstances it’s best to talk to someone who is not directly involved: a family member, therapist, psychologist, or even IE counseling is a great option. When a relationship is no longer healthy you must begin to put yourself first and do things that give you peace of mind.
As I mentioned before, your gut feeling will always tell you how to handle the situation, so let things flow naturally. It’s okay to feel a little empty or alone, as it is a healthy result of putting your well being before anything else. There is no better way to give yourself the opportunity to truly listen to yourself. Remember that losing friends, or even friend groups, is a normal and universal college student experience. You are not alone because there will always be people that care and will support you, so keep going.
Embrace your new standards & enjoy the life spring cleaning brings
You’ve learned a lot as a person this year, what you like and don’t, what you want and don’t want in your life. Unintentionally, you have developed new standards that dictate and reflect the new life you want to live. The people we meet in university mold our perspectives and inspire our passions. Cheer up, it is likely that through these trials and tribulations you will discover your ride or die. This person will be your strongest and healthiest relationship that will be there to support you at your lowest and lift you up. A relationship that is built from the sweat and tears of the journey and that will last a lifetime.
As the seasons come and go, winter will once again come, disrupting this newfound peace. However, unlike before, you will be more prepared for the challenges ahead, and you now know how to grow from those challenges. These tough situations will reveal those who are real friends. The real friends that are there through thick and thin. You will have found relationships that will last a lifetime.
Spring cleaning is time to empty out your pantry, donate clothes, and most importantly, take note of what or who you give your energy to.
