How to Avoid Getting Hurt by Someone You Like


There is no doubt that having feelings for someone can be exciting. The sweaty palms, the feeling of your heart dropping when you see them, and the smile you can’t seem to erase off your face when you think about them. It’s like being addicted to drugs, except in this case, you’re addicted to a person. However, it is incredibly important to not allow this feeling to consume you. As thrilling as it can be to think about this person, romanticising about them can easily distract you from other responsibilities. Moreover, constantly thinking about your crush can lead to the creation of false images. It’s essential to recognize that the version of the person you may be fixated on might be a distorted or idealised image you have created within your own thoughts. Therefore, you must acknowledge that it might not fully represent who they truly are. Nevertheless, here are 5 pieces of advice to consider adopting to avoid getting hurt by someone you like.

1. Humanise Them

We all long for the perfect partner in life, however, in reality, there is no perfect. Every person acquires flaws and we have to love and accept them enough to look past those imperfections that they may hold. Although, within our own delusions we tend to perfect them, we also must not forget to humanise them. The person you like is just as human as you are, and they carry just as many faults as you do. Therefore, you have to be able to recognize their shortcomings and understand that everyone faces different journeys and experiences in life that can lead to certain blemishes within a person. In truth, flaws within an individual are inevitable. However, in our head that may not necessarily be the case as we always attempt to justify our feelings by focusing on all the good about the person we like. Additionally, we may exaggerate all the good qualities of the person which is how false images develop.

2. Maintain Independence

In spite of the excitement that comes with liking a person, and as difficult as it may seem, try to avoid making them the central subject of your thoughts. Proceed to pursue your own interests and goals and attempt to occupy your time with activities that provide you with genuine happiness. Adopting this mentality can help in preventing excessive emotional investment towards the person you like. Furthermore, keeping yourself busy and engaged in other pursuits allows for a distraction from obsessive thoughts and can also contribute to your personal fulfilment.

3. Limit Texting and Social Media Stalking

Almost everyone has the habit of stalking their crush on social media, it is undeniable and quite common. Additionally, it is normal to want to know more about them and stalking their online activity can fulfil this desire. However, it may lead to an obsession that can disrupt your daily life. Assumably, texting them may lead you to overanalyze how long they take to reply as well as the way in which they reply. This in effect can cause you to think about them even more than you probably already do. Therefore, try to reduce the frequency of texting and avoid excessive social media stalking. Constantly checking their activities online solely reinforces your thoughts about them. Alternatively, grant yourself the space to detach and focus on your own life.

4. Talk to Other People

We are still incredibly young therefore, there is no need to fixate on a certain someone at this age as we continue to grow and develop every day. On that account, it is important to keep an open mind and not restrict yourself. You will continue to broaden your social connections as well as interact with others, so do not confine yourself to the thoughts of someone who is not actively part of your life. Additionally, forming new connections can offer fresh perspectives about what you truly look for in a partner.

5. Don’t Chase, Attract

Although this might sound quite cliché, it is essential to allow the relationship tounfold naturally without any forced communication. Instead of actively trying to chase the person, focus on attracting them by becoming the best version of yourself. When you have the ability to radiate confidence and self-sufficiency, you will naturally become more attractive and if they´re interested, they will be drawn to you and if not, then at least you will know where you stand. To further expand, if you do have the tendency to chase them, do not expect certain behaviours to result from this as it may place you in a disappointing position. Advisably, do not expect anything from them at all. This way you are less likely to get hurt if the outcomes don’t go exactly as you envisioned.

In summary, getting hurt by someone you like is generally unavoidable, especially if they may not feel the same way towards you. It is a devastating feeling to know that someone may not entirely feel the same way about you as you do for them, but it is also a completely normal and acceptable feeling as well. It’s not advised to completely ignore your emotions if you do get hurt, but contrarily it is crucial to not let the emotions you hold for that person consume you either. Either way, feeling for someone is part of being human and it’s how we know that we are capable of love, but loving someone is not the only prominent aspect of life and that is what is difficult to acknowledge and accept at times. Nonetheless, there are loads of ways in which you can steer away from total heartbreak and adopting these notions can aid you in doing so.

Featured image: retrieved from the movie Five Feet Apart

Hana Abulkheir
Hana Abulkheir
Second year behaviour and social science student from Egypt but primarily lived abroad. Interested in mental health in well-being.

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