Is it a friend or just an acquaintance?
By Candela Xinkuang Muñoz
Do you remember how awkward it was when you realized that you weren’t vibing with the first group of people you talked to during Freshers’ week?
It’s a universal experience. On my very first day, I met three girls from different degrees. We did a scavenger hunt together, exchanged Instagrams, and promised to hang out the day after. Guess what? We didn’t. I don’t think the four of us have ever been together in the same room since.
This might even happen with people you talked to in the first months and hung out with for a while, to ultimately conclude that they are not the type of friends you want to stick with. And, you know what? It’s perfectly normal. It’s much better to acknowledge this and move on sooner rather than later: the longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it becomes to return home.
You only need to be yourself to meet people who click with you. This sounds very cliché, yes. But I mean that forcing things and trying to fit a mold will never work out. If you stay authentic, you will attract people for who you are, not for who you pretend to be.
That said, most times, these friends won’t come to you magically. You will need to step out of your way to meet them, whether it is by sitting next to some strangers at the cafeteria, asking if the seat in the study room is free, or summoning the courage to go to a Music Wednesday by yourself, it is key to remember that you don’t have anything to lose. It’s like traveling to a different country: you don’t care about looking ridiculous dancing on the street because nobody knows you, and you won’t see those people again.
After you’ve taken this first step and talked to someone, exchanged Instagrams, and maybe even made plans to grab coffee, congratulations! You’ve made a friend- just kidding. You’ve made an acquaintance. Call it networking.
The rest is easy. You will eventually see if you enjoy their company, their conversations, their humor, and if there is genuine reciprocated interest in getting to know each other. And that is when you know you’ve made a real friend. Not an acquaintance. A friend.
And if, in the end, you see that you are not vibing with them, don’t panic! Friendships evolve all the time in university (no dramas involved). We’re adults now, so welcome to adulthood, I guess.
the longer you stay on the wrong train, the more expensive it becomes to return home.
To conclude, I want to share the fundamental truth that real friends won’t come during the first year. If you go shopping when you’re hungry, you might grab the wrong things. In the first year, everybody wants to meet new people, find their crowd, and figure out where they fit in. But be patient. Keep trying. And, most importantly, stay true to who you are.
Featured image courtesy of Samantha Lopez on Dribbble
